Shady Review: Zombieland

Greetings and aloha, young padawans. No doubt some of you are wondering who in the hells I am, and the rest of you may yet feel scorned and abandoned, or simply don't care enough to mind. I am, as once named by a terrible rival of mine; Shady Review Man. I review things, possibly with a mindset of criticism, but usually I am kind enough to pick out movies that are actually good, I leave you to trample the minefield on your own. For a long time, I was subdued and held hostage in a little room in another dimension, powerless to watch as my nemesis walked around pretending to be me. But 'lo and behold, with the inherent power of a paperclip, a hamster, duct tape, and various Review-Gadgets, I have managed to escape the evil lair, and have now returned to bring you a new movie. A delay as this movie is now no longer in cinema, but I had plenty time to compose my thoughts in the alternate realm. The movie we're about to discuss is Zombieland, and it's a recent one, released in the latter part of 2009, for those of you who never go outside, or are trapped in other dimensions. We'll get right into it, I'm itching for some reviewing.

Cool guys don't look at explosions.
If you enjoy grit and realism, this movie will sit well with you. Managing to make zombies look good is a debatably hard task, and Zombieland manages to plow through the entire movie without giving that surreal feel. Effects and makeup are nicely done, and for once this writer could actually sit back and enjoy the movie, which has none of the problems many movies today seem to. Sure, it could probably do with more explosions, but at that point, we'd need ninjas too. (Sadly it does not have too many ninjas. Or pirates. Mileage may vary.)

My comm device is not working properly.
Jesse Eisenberg is the lead character and our narrator throughout the film, playing a young man and felllow nerd known only as Columbus, which assumingly is not his real name, an insecure, genre-savvy (though ironically ignorant) nerd who's returning home in search of his parents. He does a good job, I applaud his adequate acting and managing to not draw it over the top. The show is however stolen in it's entirety by Tallahasse, Columbus trigger-happy travelpartner, played by none other than Woody Harrelson, whom no doubt had great fun shooting this movie. Though a stereotype, (All the main characters are) Tallahasse is perfectly delivered, and there are not many scenes with him that are not either A) Awesome, B) Hilarious, or C) Both. The two of them are joined by two girls, and a heckload of zombies. Sadly the girls are not as brilliant in their acting, if excellent compared to most other zombie flicks, and are grossly overshadowed by both Columbus and Tallahasse. The zombies are hilarious, however, and I take this pause in my review to applaud the actors for their ability to stumble, run, and groan aggravatedly. *bows*

How about a story before we sleep?
Zombieland is -for those of you who have not yet managed to figure this out from the name - a zombie movie. Thus, the plot is naturally revolved around zombies to a certain extent. In this case, Tallahasse and Columbus, and later the two ladies traverse America in search of a place to rest their heads and call home, all the while bringing destruction to rampaging braineaters and trying to survive. The plot is obviously nothing much to write home about, but the delivery is well executed, making it a very enjoyable story to follow, and even the over-the-top action sequence awarded to Tallahasse (of course he has one.) manages to not break the flow. This movie is filled with small gems and many a chuckle, I don't want to spoil it for you.

Conclusion, Conclusion, Conclusion.
The mere conclusion about Zombieland that SRM has to offer is; Watch Zombieland. If you have humour, or like action, or enjoy zombiesplatter, or just like to watch women making men look like idiots, or you like rollercoasters, you will enjoy this movie. If you like more than one of the above, you will love it. If you don't, you need to watch it again, and not sleep this time. Perhaps one of the greatest zombieflicks ever, Zombieland is in a class of it's own, though it's not as serious as others. If you go in expecting a gritty survivalist scenario where they're all hounded by the military and trying to uncover some tense plot, go watch 28 days later, or the crappy sequel. Go watch any thriller in fact. Zombieland has the attitude saying killing zombies and living in a post-apocalypse world can be entertaining, and it manages to pull it off.


Rating: Zombieland has the official SRM Stamp of Approval. It gets a whopping 98% out of one hundred. Two percent minus for lack of ninjas.